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Inside the head and heart of a Black Man!  By request 
 

This article never made it to
Takingthejourney.com  
It was intended for the site but didn't meet the current needs of the owner, the vision or direction of the site.  
But I still wanted to publish it so here it is in full. 
It takes a look back to clarify some of the things I've said 

and who I meant them for .... brothers or sisters?


Craig Butts site "Taking The Journey" is about relationships and very interesting.
Mr Butts has been doing this 
for several years, you should definitely check out this months issue
(It will open in a new window, then come back here to read more articles or go back to the home page.)


 

Inside the head and heart of a Black Man!  By request
 
Hello Ladies, Brothers!  Hope everything has been hot for you this past month. ( ...edit, delete...) So I just wanna make clear how I write on this topic and why as I try to focus in more on what you all wanna know.
 
Got some second hand feedback.  Thankyou, I apreciate the feed back. BTW, Come on yall, give it to me direct too and give it to me raw tlh@pro-mo-tions.com  I could talk about it right in my articles.  Well it seems Brothers want woman to know and Sisters want to know .... what's in the head and heart of a Black Man/what we want from Sisters!
 
In my articles I've pretty much been talking about what's in MY head and heart about both what Sisters want to know and what Brothers (like myself) want Sisters to know.  But maybe wasn't quite clear about it applying to both because it seems Brothers feel I'm only really talking about how Brothers need to do betta and putting the blame on them so to speak and Sisters, well,  some sisters it appears, seem to think that I'm only talking about what Brothers 'gotz to do ta get betta'.      
 
Well yall, I am not sure I'm a good representation for Brothers out there or not.  But I think I can be a good representative of relationships (at least my view anyway).  See I kinda look at things a little differently. I'm a little unique and I comment from my prospective.  But also I believe much of what I have been saying has been mistakenly taken as to who I'm directing it towards.  I want yall to understand where I was coming from and where I'll be going. 
 
Yeah, Reading Ted Harge 101
 
MY PROSPECTIVE:

I'm sympathetic to woman, only because I have female friends more than male friends.  So that's who I talk to.  I don't intend to and I shouldn't insinuate that the problem is all with Brothers.  I don't mean to say that and I don't believe that. 

4 thangz however:  
1. I don't hear brothers complain about the situation so much
2. I do hear my female friends complain about the situation and what they go through, because I have more female friends as I said.
3. Also yall I'm only gonna be able to give you my view point. I'm glad that I hear we have a few other male writers because we can all give our own perpective for the sisters. Give several view points.  Because I can't really represent well what challenges other brothers have as well as I can my own.
4. Also keep in mind, when I talk about or think about relationships in mind I have already discounted the woman that I'm not interested...that's the best way to deal with them, not so much try to change the woman we want into someone else than who they are. 
 
MISTAKEN?:
Some of yall feel I am just representing what Brothers need to work on and what Sisters need to look out for.  I have not intended to do that and as I have read over past articles I don't see where I have.  I have tried to tell Sisters what I need and look for and thus indirectly any Brothers that are like I am.  But come on brothers, I love yall but lets be real now! 
 
I do have issues with Sisters falling for lines, falling for the game, while other brothers are straight up honest and open.  And I want a Sister to appreciate honesty in a Brother when it comes by and not be decieved by the game.   Now if a Brother has a problem with that then that Brother must be running game.  It don't mean that all Brothers are playa's and all Sisters are saints. 
 
Some Past thoughts, clarified: 
So the things that I have pointed out that I've needed from woman are: openness, honesty.  Woman that appreciate someone who is open and honest. Don't ignore an open, honest brother for brothers running game. Be patient, if you meet a brother that wants to take his time and get to know you and if you feel he is doing this to get in yo pants then keep it zipped and see if he sticks around. Also, I don't believe in love at first site!  I think it's lust at first sight.  It's still a wonderful thing but I think it's lust until time has passed enough for us to learn who the hell it is on the other side of that big ass smile we be wearing all the time while you're staring at each others twinklers!  So I don't want a woman to love me when she doesn't know who I am, I want a woman to love me after she knows who I am, then I know she loves me and not someone that she hopes I am.  So please have enough patience for me to know that you either love me for who I am or you don't love me. These are all things that I have said and more already but somehow have gotten lost in my rants about knuckle head brothers but my point has been pretty much, sisters don't fall for that and leave a good man hanging in the wind!  Now honestly, if you're a knuckle head brother, then you're gonna have a problem with that.  If you're not, please don't take offense, I'm standing up for us. 


CONSIDERATIONS TAKEN:

OK, now we want to focus more on what we want from sisters.  What sisters need to keep in mind.  How sisters can get and please a brother.  Man it's a beautiful thing to see happy, healthy black/black relationships.  I'm not totally against mixed race relationships but that's not for me and I just love to see a black couple/family working, healthy and happy.
 
A new direction or slight adjustment for yall brothers and sisters:
Though I can only write from my perspective, what I can do is
 
* Talk more about brothers view in general, what I do know from talking to them, what I do hear. 
* Make it clearer when I am talking about what sisters can do themselves. Focus A little more on that for yall.
* Spend some time talking about sisters that I normally don't give brain real estate to... (I'll talk more about that in a second)
 
But just keep in mind, please, what I think is not necessarily what all brothers think.  If yall sisters want a Brother like me, which you may or may not, you can't make someone else like me, it's about the original.  'Holla at ya boy!'  A little shameless self promotions there.  LOL  Other wise these are just my thoughts to consider. 
 
A little more about my perspective and how I can adjust to give yall a little more of what you want to hear from me:
 
I am, it's true, sympathetic to what a woman needs from a Brother and we all need to be.  That's the way it is.  Woman deserve that.  We just need to be wise about who. 
 
My thought process is not: I have to make Sisters do this or that, or stop them from doing this or that. 
I just look for someone who has what I want and acts the way I need.  The sisters I have been dating or desiring and pursueing have those qualities.  So I don't think much about all the other ladies that would piss me off and wouldn't have what I want from a sister.  That's why I haven't spent much time talking about them.  So for me it's a lot about selction and how can I be all I could be for the type of woman I want. But maybe for some brothers in relationships that are a little less than uuuh,  smooth running  and for the sake of sisters that wanna know, I'll talk about those sisters and the qualities that I normally just discount from my mind. 
 
So I say to my brothers, search for the right sister.  You can't make a sister into what you want, you have to find a sister that is what you need. ...edit.... Looks like the new direction will be a little more like, us brothers letting sisters know, because it is only fair, what we want and expect from a woman!
See you next month.  Much Success in your relationships and in your searches.

 
 
 
  
Article written by Ted Harge: 
tlh@pro-mo-tions.com
 
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